When is it gonna end? It has to end somehow, some way-over the rainbow? Bushter recently went on the boob tube and told us all that everything was gonna be alright. The war is good! The economy is strong! Don't worry so much! Worry, hell! I'm scared to death every day that my job could end and my poor pitiful lifestyle get even more pitiful. I work in the construction material supply industry. Feel sorry for me yet? My sales and the company's sales are down by half from last year, so far. No new housing other than a few custom houses are being built, and if someone is attempting a "spec" home, they are surely taunting the gods and tempting fate. Every day I hear of a different contractor/builder going under because of overwhelming debt-can't even pay the interest on some loans. Even worse are the poor souls going to the gas station and getting $5 worth of gas-less than 2 gallons. No wonder I see cars on the side of the road, out of gas. More of them every day. I say let's stop this bullshit-stop sending aid to countries who don't even appreciate it since the general populations don't even see it anyway. The "generals" or "presidents" hoard it all away, sometimes right here in own on banks, for their own use. Stop letting these Arab/Muslim countries use oil as a weapon against us. Stop borrowing money from China! What are we giving up to get this money?
Is it the end of days? That biblical doomsday that has been foretold for centuries? I don't know! I just keep my firearms cleaned and loaded, my meager food stores stocked, my bottled water put away. You know, we are at the point right now where we can't trust our food supply, our water(bottled or tap) or our politicians(ever). I wish I could buy some land with a cave where I could stock it up with supplies, put in solar and wind power, and put up a foot thick door and lock myself away. I would reread my books, learn to whittle, work out more, and watch Gilligan's Island reruns until the day I die, inside my private tomb. I wish the world was as simple as it was when I was a kid, but those days are forever gone. I'm afraid they are gone even for the kids of today-and that REALLY CHAPS MY ASS!!! And God save us all or at least forgive us.

Down,down,down she goes-looks like it's "goodby Billary"-Good luck! Go build a Habitat House!
Take care of Slick Willie! Anything but politics, because you make me sick. Hiding behind the Demo party should be beyond you, but, no, there you stand-promising new taxes, nationalized health care, ending the war, etc-all of the thing no one person can or should promise to a demorilized nation, wanting answers and results-not lies and bullshit political rants. Now, don't get me wrong-Hussein Obama ain't ever gonna get my vote. But why the plagerism outcry? Every black man in America can quote the good Dr King and the Rev. Jackson-so don't cry foul when they use their WORDS. Just hope they don't use their actions. The only problem with John McCain is his age-notice how they never show him walking very far and when he walks, he shuffles-like the little old man he is(71, 72 by election day). The question is-will he live out his term in office-maybe we should look to who his vice presidential running mate will be. That is who will most likely end up as the head Knocker. President Sonny Perdue? How about President Jim Bob Cooter? Maybe ole Fred "Mr President" Thompson!! Fred abandoned ship on me, and that kinda "chaps my ass"!

What's with all the university suicide killings? What gets into these young people's minds(besides drugs,alcohol,broken hearts,etc.)? The NEWS MEDIA is the culprit ,I believe. I believe this with all my heart and soul. If the Media constantly puts the photos of bodies, names and the name of the culprit on the television, radio and newspaper, then the person gets the idea that this is his/her legacy. That they will always be remembered for this last desperate act. The solution-don't report it for days on end, every hour on the hour, on every channel and every paper in the country. And if any student or teacher/professor has any feeling or idea that they know someone who is suicidal or a little off kilter, then report it. I don't believe in indivdual rights when it comes to other people's lives or saving them. You can only do the idiot a favor by reporting him/her to the proper authority. Getting help for a nutcase is not illegal or antisocial-so just frigging do it!!And procecute this asshole's girlfriend-she was forewarned, no matter what she says. Believe me when I say-come into a building or room that I am in and you have a gun-prepare to die or suffer if I can get to you-no pity, no laws-just going down, if I can get it done. Or it's "Fuck you, sucker-hit this moving CHAPPED ASS!!

It's getting closer and closer. November is just around the corner! Who will it be? Billary, Hussein, or McCain? I can only hope that the flu bug gets em all and we have to settle for a complete unknown.
Well, the housing bomb has dropped and is slowly imploding. The foreclosures are coming hard and fast, the gas goes up and down, food prices have seen an alltime high, stock market can't decide how low it will go, and the whole damn Senate and Congress are spending countless dollars(your dollars) to chastise Roger Clemmons and other ball players. Who gives a shit what these guys take? I don't care if they shoot up heroin, snort coke, ingest Preparation H, or abuse a donkey. Let it the hell go!!! Get on to important shit. Like soldiers dying in foreign countries that we have no business in anyway. Stop the political bullshit, get off the television screen and do the jobs we elected you to do. Economic stimulus package-bullshit---just one side trying to influence an election and the other side wants their input for votes, too. Keep my rebate if it will change anything-but it wont, so send it to me now!!! I can buy some very mellow scotch with $600.
Maybe that will help me heal-MY BIG CHAPPED ASS!!!
AND DON'T FORGET TO VOTE(AS IF YOU COULD!)

Well, folks, I guess Fred is dead. Let us hang our heads in sorrow for the Republican party. I will weep tears of sadness for months to come. Fred Thompson will not be president of these here United States. What in the world will we do now? My worst fear is that Americans will look at the slate of characters running and just cast a vote for the first name on the list. Or just not even vote at all! How tragic to have the first black muslim or the first woman president just because there is nobody else to vote for. Did anyone catch the mayor of Atlanta giving Bill Clinton a major jab in the gut for his remarks about Hussein Obama? Note: Hussein is Obama's middle name, no joke, so I will forever refer to him by that middle name, president or not. Now the race card is played and out in the open. The black folk gonna have a party over this one. How ironic would it be to have 99 percent of the black population vote and elect the black candidate? November is too near for me-I fear the worst for our poor little abused country. Oh, well, what else......Oh, yeah-when was it decided that a rope noose is now a racial statement? I was left out of that discussion. I guess the Clint Eastwood movie "Hang em High" is now a racist movie? There is a "shudder" noose shown on the poster for this movie. I guess that will be digitally erased from now on. Has there not been enough racism, bigotry, and slander to get it thru to everyone that enough is enough? But you know, without it there would be no famous Jesse Jackson or Al Sharpton, names that have ridden the racist tide to financial rewards and infamy. And I almost forgot-someone, a black man, said that Bill Clinton was the first black president. What a country- I love that we can say what we want without reprisal-unless you count the lawsuits!! And that just CHAPS MY ASS!!!!

Do you have the feeling that Oprah is pushing Obama just a little too hard? I think that the thinking is -Get Obama the Democratic nomination and whoever the Pub is will be a shoo-in. Who is gonna elect a black president, and a Muslim black president at that? Not gonna happen as long as people remember 9/11. And I for sure wont vote for a Billery Clinton ticket. The interesting part is gonna be who the vice-presidental candidates will be. Did I tell you Good Ole-Boy Fred would come out? Don't listen to ole Uncle Tom, and be left behind!! Just do Ole Uncle Tom a BIG favor-Get off your ass and vote! Let you voice be heard! You don't have many opportunies to sound off so sound off loud and clear! Or risk the chance of CHAPPING MY ASS!!!!!

Baby boy and his new bride!
The wedding went great, no problems,no fights-halelujah!!

As the weather heats up(96 here today), so does the politicking. Wait a minute! Is that Fred Thompson I see on the razor's edge of jumping into the Publican pool? I think it is! Can I say I told you so now or should I wait until he really commits? I truly hope ole Fred does run and I still feel he will make a good if not great President. If you don't believe me, watch the movie "Days of Thunder" and see if you can't visualize him telling Rootin Tootin Putin about a Japanese inspection. Or saying "If you're gonna trade missles with each other, you can find somewhere else to do it, just not on my planet!" What a set of balls! You can hear em clank when he walks!
As for other updates, my son got married on June 3rd. And not a single problem from either side of the family. As a matter of fact, present wife invited ex-wife to a barbeque. I almost fell over. I still don't want us to get too chummy with ex as I know how the worm can turn in an instant. And I would be in the center of it, innocent as a lamb, getting slaughtered just the same. Nope! Ain't gonna let it happen! Can't stand the sight of blood, especially my own. And I have a feeling that more asses than mine would get chapped!!

Here is a picture of Baby Boy and daughter-in-law!

This is an open letter to the people I will mention thru-out this rambling.
To President George Bush: Hey, It's almost over, so let up a little. Let the Demos get their little say-so in. Just ride it out and enjoy your retirement, as I don't think you're gonna get into the same mode as Slick Willy and the rest of his crew(including your dad). Go to the ranch and enjoy LIFE!
To Ossama: Be glad you hit New York instead of Nashville. I believe that Toby Keith could have aroused more support against you then what you got from the Northern sector of this country.
To Bill Clinton: You wont make a very pretty First Lady so stop sucking up to Billery and live in the limelight of your sorry career. I get so sick of hearing of what you did for this country instead of what you cost this country. Listen, you rode the coattails of the greatest President in the history of America, then you systematically tore up everything Ronald Reagan did. You should live a life of shame until you die.
To Obama whatever: Don't waste your time and other people's money-it ain't gonna happen anytime soon.
To Hillery: Read the above
To Fred Thompson: Run, man, run. I will vote for you, as will every living true Southerner and Republican(am I still a Pub?).
To every living American: Listen to what these people are saying, don't believe everything you hear, and vote with your heart and for your future and your children and their children. But, please vote-every single vote counts, every voice is heard-on an election ballot!

I have to open up and complain about something that I'm sure more people than me have experienced. The total lack of respect for a paying customer,patient,end-user,whatever. For example: I go to the doctor, who proceeds to TELL me what I HAVE to do or else-YOU're gonna die at an early age( I'm 53, a little past the early age stage)! This is after I waited 45 minutes past my scheduled appointment time. I looked him in the eye and said,"Yeah, of stagnation waiting to be seen by you for this bullshit". He stopped, stared, mumbled something, then left the room. He came back after a few minutes and said "You know, you don't seem to want to be my patient any longer". I replied " I would just like to be you're patient for a shorter waiting period. I get tired of the same magazines, then the same "change your diet, exercise more,etc". I would like for you to respond with an appropriate answer for why my right shoulder hurts, my knees ache, and I can't sleep more than 4 hours at a time, not just grab a prescription pad and order me to pay for something that you probably get a kickback for". I think my next visit is in 6 months or so.
The other knotheads are the cable people who act like they are doing ME a favor by allowing me to view their programming,the Walmart managers who act like I'm intruding on their personal space if I ask where something is located, and a pharmacist who can't get an insurance claim registered correctly. I AM FED UP with the substandard service now leveled upon me and others who pay our way. I DON'T have to shop there, use your products or your services. And let me tell you loud and clear-CHAP MY ASS, then you can kiss it goodbye!

Winter has finally arrived here in the big city(Cleveland, Tennessee). Since we have only experienced about a week of cold weather, I guess it is to be expected. I can only hope for a NO SNOW forecast anytime soon. I still am able to get out on the motorcycle on a few days each month. I went for a POLAR BEAR ride on January 1st, just to say I rode on January 1st. It wasn't bad, only my fingers got cold, since I didn't wear the thick gloves. I can't wait for a little sign of spring so I can go for a weekender ride somewhere. I want to ride to Daytona Beach in March but I can't get off work for the length of time needed. I guess I'll just wait for May or June. Then it will be so hot I can't stand to ride. Never a win/win situation around here. Oh well, as they say,it could always be worse. I could be riding and get chapped lips to go with my chapped ass,huh? Here is a crappy pic of me and MOMO, my Vulcan 2000.

Well,hell! Here I am again on the outs with yet another wife.(My 4th-and last). I got caught in a lie about one of my other ex-wives concerning having conversations with the ex-wife. We have a son together so that forever ties us together in whatever small way. So, on occasion, we have to have a conversation about OUR son. He is getting married in the spring of this year and I have to be involved in(pay for) the rehersal dinner. The ex wants to have a small informal barbeque at her residence. I really don't care where it is. But present wife absolutely refuses to take part in any gathering where the two of them have to interface. Especially if it is to take place at HER place. Her being the ex. I wish the present wife would understand that the ex-wife is the EX for a reason. WE DID NOT GET ALONG! And probably never will! I am too old to have to fight the jealousy battle and have no desire to be party to either's petty bullshit. I have therefore decided that I will provide the financial side of the dinner and delicately remove myself from further derision by not appearing. I WILL be at my only son's wedding even if the present and the ex are battling in the parking lot. And may the best one win! I can only hope to not embarrass myself OR my son. I guess I should have been a hermit like my dear mother predicted I would. And that,sorrowfully, really chaps my ass!!

Well, at last,another Christmas has come and gone. I hope everyone had a very merry one and have a very happy new year. I hope that most of you experienced or at least tried to remember what the reason for the season is supposed to be all about. I did not fight the mall crowds this year and probably wont ever again. We decided to limit ourselves to what we could pay cash for and leave the plastic alone. I only failed one time(my wife's gift). We gave gift cards mostly, except for some small items here and there. And we received mostly gift cards at our own request. I especially like the ones from Chili's, our place to eat,drink and hold court with whomever falls into our path. We meet our fellow biker friends there when weather permits and other friends when temperment permits. I shall refrain from making this a Chili's commercial by stopping here. So, May the wind always be at your back and the road rise to your feet. Good luck in the new year to all!

UNCLE NEW YEAR'S BABY TOM

I feel that I am risking turning this into a "political stand" blog, but here I go again. After the fallout settles from Black Tuesday(Demos regain power Day), I can only hope that the average American citizen is not who has to answer for the outcome. I am slowly realizing that I may very well be a Repub. After all the years of voting "for the man,not the party" speeches, I find I am a more and more voting Repub. I seem to always make more income when the Repub are in office. Why is this? I am not a rich man, I get no extra tax breaks or "free lunches". Right now, the economy can only be described as "hot". The building boom has slowed a little but I still sell tons of material every day. The Demos stated yesterday(that new Female Speaker of the House,anyway) that the economy needed boosting with new taxes to slow inflation. What in God's name do they mean? Gasoline has "fallen" to a lower level of overpriced, the interest rate was kept the same, job-less rates are down-Where is the problem? Do we as Americans just vote in a different set of lowlifes every few years to keep it interesting? Maybe my politics are too much of a low-brow level but the last 6 years have been pretty interesting to me. I don't have to wonder who's hiding in the presidential closet this week, with her cigars and pretty pink crotchless panties. I know it's Barbara. All I have to wonder about is where Osama is, where the next bomb is going off, and who George is gonna get pissed at.

Tonight is Red Stripe Night! For the red stripes in our flag! So patriotic, am I! Well, as everyone now knows, the Demos took control of the House and the Senate. What this means is two years of schoolyard caliber antics from both sides but nothing really accomplished by either. Whatever the Repubs want, the Demos don't. Whatever the Demos want, the Repubs don't. It's a lose-lose situation for all Americans. We cannot come out on the good side of a Party pissing contest. I still say-Drop the two party system , it just ain't working for the good of America. And for a very obvious apathetic America at that. In my little town, less than half of the registered voters even bothered to vote. We even have early voting for 2 weeks before the general election so people can't say that they didn't have time, or weren't off in time, or were out of town,etc. People just don't care who represents them! And that is exactly what some of the lower species politicians use to their advantage. If you don't vote, then don't bitch!. I wont listen to you and neither should anyone else. The one last attainable right you have left is to vote-use it! Or risk CHAPPING MY ASS!

UNCLE SAM--UH......TOM

OK-now it's back to the ranting and raving. Let's talk about health care in America! Why is this not the most important issue on your mind when you vote? Because it is the most shoved aside issue in America today. Why is it the majority of Americans don't have and can't afford decent health care? The cost of insurance is one reason, and the absurd cost of medical care is the other. I went to an orthopedic surgeon/doctor for a pain in my left knee( I usually ignore the pain in the right one). I had an x-ray, and then a shot of some milky-looking fluid directly in the area below the kneecap. IT HURT LIKE HELL@! Two weeks later, I get a bill for $154, above and beyond what my insurance had paid. I questioned the bill, asked why had they not accepted what the insurance had paid. I never got an anwer I truly understood except the one about turning me over for collection if I didn't pay up. I heard some mumbling about the cost of everything rising but no explicit reason. I also found out this DOC has a condo in Key West, an airplane to fly himself there, a Mercedes for his wife and some exotic sports car for himself, a rather large house in the country,etc. Talk about THE LIFESTYLES OF THE RICH AND SHAMELESS! People can't afford dental care, health care, medicine and food. Where is my congressman and senator on these issues? At the doorstep of each lobbyist, collecting his payment for voting against ceilings on costs of any of the above. Why are we so apathetic when it comes to voting? I say go vote in the person least likely to cause you pain and suffering. At least you can have a little say in the whole mess. And if you don't vote, don't bitch to anyone about who represents you. You gave up that right along with your vote. AND THAT REALLY CHAPS MY ASS!!!

This is another Coors cronicle-I can only hope that I can endure another weekend of political ads from the Tennessee senate race. I cringe every time I see Harold Ford or Bob Corker come onto my tv. I am getting so tired of the phrase "and I've approved this ad" that I could tear my eyes out and puncture my own eardrums. Can anyone tell me why a multi-millionaire would even want to be a senator? Corker is worth about $200 million. If I had that kind of money, I would retire to a tropical island, never to be heard from again. The signs would say "leave me the hell alone". Now, Harold Ford's entire family existence depends on political offices, perks, power and whatever monetary gains are to be had from such endeavors. I DO NOT WANT HAROLD FORD TO BE MY SENATOR OR TO REPRESENT ME IN ANY FORM OR FASHION. Is that clear enough? I figure Corker has nothing financially to gain from being senator, only the illusion of POWER that comes from it. I can live with that, I guess. Just keep his hands away from the RED BUTTON [supposedly the button that sends the nukes flying]. As a matter of fact, just get rid of the BUTTON. Wait, has anyone told the North Korean ruler that we have a BUTTON, one bigger than his? You know, I guess you could replace the word BUTTON with PENIS. It all amounts to about the same thing. "Mine is bigger than yours". Is that not something to CHAP YOUR ASS?
UNCLE NUCLEAR TOM

This is my crazy cat, BOBO. I rescued him when he was about 2 weeks old. I had gone to a job site to measure for an cost estimate and noticed some activity from a roofing crew next door. As I watched, one of the lunkheads heaved this tiny black and white object onto the hot shingled roof. I was horrified to see it was a small kitten. I walked over, removed a ladder from the front of the house and moved it so I could climb up to get it down. When I got down, I looked this tiny creature over and saw that a large section of it's tail had been burned. I set it on the ground and asked who was responsible for this idiocy. The one I had seen toss it on the roof walked up to me and stated "Me, and now watch what I do to it!" He walked toward it as if to kick it like a football. I reached out and stopped him. He then grabbed the front of my shirt, pulling my chest hair painfully, so I did what came naturally. I clocked him a sharp punch to the adam's apple. He went down like a rock and began choking and gurgling. I honestly thought I had done bad damage to him. The 3 other crewmen climbed down and started toward us. I thought, "Well, this is what you get for being a Sir Galihad, an ole fashioned ass-whuppin". Much to my surprise and relief, they had just come over to check on their friend and then to laugh at him. The fellow I surmised was the Bossman just said "Take that cat on out of here so he wont hurt it after you leave, please". So that is just what I did, I took a tiny, 2 week old kitten home. This picture of him shows that he has grown just a little, from about 6 ounces to about 11 pounds. And he thinks I'm his daddy and my wife, his mommy. How can people be so cruel to such an innocent and tiny creature. It makes me think about what upbringing they had and how much suffering is someone or something having to endure at their homes. Sometimes it's a sad and shameful world we live in, I guess. AND YOU KNOW THAT CHAPS MY ASS!!! 

Let's call this "the Coors Cronicles" as I've consumed a few today. One of my favorite books "Marley and me" dropped to #4 on the hardback best sellers lists. After an astonishing 50 plus weeks as either #1 or #2, it took a rather short drop. Oh well, the paperback edition is sure to pad John Grogan's bank account even more. I feel that most people are like me in that they wait until the more economical paperback version comes out before forking out the money. I am an avid reader of Stephen King and Dean Koonz,among others such as John Sanford,etc. But I, most of the time, just wait it out. I wish I could read as avidly as I did in my younger days but find I just don't or wont dedicate the time. I remember being so involved with a book that I would read in bed until 2 or 3 A.M., much to the detriment of the following days work schedule. Now, I leave my books in the bathroom where I read until my feet go to sleep, then I waddle to the shower or to bed. I read so much in my bathroom that I have a bookcase there, filled to overflowing with books(hardback and paper) and magazines, such as This Old House, Wood, etc. Norm would be flattered to know that he is sometimes part of my daily constitutional. Hmm, the beer has stopped the ass chapping for today. Well, there's always another day and another ass chapping on the way. So here's to a mellow Sunday! BUUUUUUUUUUUrp!

For my 3rd scotch monologe, I'm gonna tone it down to some hilarity. This may or may not be funny to everyone so keep an open mind. As I have aged(to the ripe old 53rd year), I find myself going more regularly to my doctor for check ups and the infrequent concerns and scares that come with the aging process. I sit quietly in the waiting room, observing the other patients, and making mental notes. That person has something seriously wrong, that person is probably a hypochondriac,etc. I have watched, over the years ,some of the older men progress from humble, dottering old timers to high stepping straight back younger acting fellows, with snappy remarks and flirtatious attitudes. How naive as I was at the time. I had to ask Doc what he thought brought about these changes. He uttered one word-"Viagra". I had to ask, "How does an ED drug alter a man's physical and mental state?" His reply was "Have you ever tried it?" The answer was no but I was interested. I left that day with a prescription for it. I'm not sure I needed it but my girlfriends have all contributed when the refill is due. And I'm not sure if that chaps my ass or not.
Uncle High Stepping Tom